You may have heard me allude to a team “waxing that ass” against their opponent, or even the vague “Ass-waxing of the week” I’ve awarded occasionally. Well I am working to develop the “Ass-waxing index” to crown a team as waxing the most ass this year. What does that mean? It means that a team consistently puts up big scores and wins by large margins week in and week out. Overall record and strength of schedule mean nothing in this ranking. There is only one pollster (me), and the only three metrics I measure are margin of victory, running up the score, and sexiness of the win. Margin of victory is a big percent of this, but I also give extra attention if a team can drop 60, 70, or 80 points on a team to run up the score even if its not as big of a margin over their opponent. Also, the sexiness factor can include various items such as shutting out an opponent or holding them to a very low score.
I hope you’re looking forward to this segment, which is essentially the anti-sportsmanship award for college football.