Week 1 2016: College Gameday review! #cfb #getup4gameday

Welcome back everyone to the return of the College Gameday weekly review.  This is of course where all of us with an unhealthy Gameday obsession can celebrate and nit-pick the finer points of this week’s College Gameday celebration as if it were a fine wine we were sampling.

This week’s edition of College Gameday was broadcasting live from Green Bay, Wisconsin, for the big matchup between #1 Alabama and #20 USC.  For the first time in 7+ months, we got to be woken up by COMIN’ TO YOUR CITAAAAAY as performed by an ever-expanding cast including Big & Rich, Cowboy Troy, Lzzy Hale, Travie McCoy, and more.  At this point, I think every season they should keep adding new performers to this intro, and before long it will basically be the new millennium’s version of “We are the world“.  Except, you know, it will be to celebrate a college football pregame show instead of raising money for Africa.

So now that we have been welcomed to their citaaay, let’s not forget that this week 1 has been billed as the greatest opening week of all time in college football history.  As athletic directors start to figure out the finer points of this college football playoff deal, all of the contenders are trying to put some legitimate names on their scheduling resumes.  Of course, sometimes you go ahead and schedule a cupcake, pay them a couple hundred grand to show up, and then get your ass kicked anyways.

Back to Gameday, as the show opened up and they were introducing the crew, Desmond Howard got quite the ovation by the Packer Nation for his Superbowl MVP performance during his tenure in Green Bay.

Corso and Kirk had a beer to kick the show off.

The rest of the crew was back in full this year, including Chris “The Bear” Fallica as their research lead/gambling aficionado.  My wife Jennifer (@GamedayJen) was the first one to point out that they backed way off of the gambling angle this year.  Last year they were talking point spreads for the first time ever, and even started picking a few games against the spread.  This year there were only glancing mentions of the gambling lines aside from the fantastic return of BEAR’S BANK!  Chris Fallica was on FIRE last year picking games against the spread, so pay attention all of you degenerates who need to get down on some last minute bets at 10AM Saturday morning.  This week, Bear’s Bank liked UCLA+3, UNC+3, and Texas State+21 vs Ohio.  The first two were losers yesterday, but as you can see in the scores pictured above, Texas State showed up as a 21 point dog and decided to beat Ohio on the field and claim the title of fiercest Bobcat mascot in the country.

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There was an earthquake late Friday night/early Saturday morning about 50 miles outside of Tulsa, Oklahoma which was discussed.  The 5.6 scale earthquake was apparently felt in much of the midwest ranging from Iowa to Texas, or in other words, it was a Big 12 earthquake.

Signs this week were pretty tame, but this year it looks like the memes are going to be dank.  Harambe was a big player in the signage yesterday as you can see below.

We also had signs with allegations that Les Miles killed Harambe and Colin Kaepernick killed Harambe.  However, a late contender for sign of the week really got a chuckle out of me:

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This brings us to everyone’s favorite segment of the week.  The “OFFICIAL GAMEDAY JEN REVIEW OF THE SAM PONDER OUTFIT OF THE WEEK”!!!  This week Sam Ponder was sporting a nice little outfit of which Gameday Jen had to say: “I like the blazer and the all black.  I like the neck-line detail and the shoes are great”.  I myself question the pants, which taper sharply at the ankle, as they appear to be a slimmer version of parachute pants.  However, since I am the owner of a vast wardrobe of generic polos and ill-fitting pants, I advise you to trust in Sam Ponder’s fashion choices above my own.

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The Gameday boys spent an unnecessary amount of time on Saturday’s show discussing the fact that the NCAA had outlawed the Lambeau Leap from the LSU/Wisconsin game.  I personally think the football players should be allowed to do it after scoring, but I also think we should go all-in with 1980’s Miami Hurricane’s style celebrations in these games.  However, since the rules say no excessive celebrations, I didn’t really think there was a need for any debate, much less suggestions that the coaches should have agreed to decline any excessive celebration penalty after a Lambeau Leap.

Marcus Spears and Kaylee Hartung from the SEC network joined the Gameday crew via satellite to talk about the horrible flooding in Louisiana and the relief efforts which the LSU football program, led by Les Miles, has undertaken.  It boggles my mind that the LSU fans, alumni, and boosters want to run Les Miles out of town like a common pygmy.  This is a man who wins 10 games a year, won a national championship, and does great work for the community.  I guess it doesn’t matter if you’re not beating ‘Bama.

For those of you who follow College Gameday religiously, you will know the man known as Lee Fitting.  He is the long-time College Gameday producer who has been behind the wheel of this thing for all six of their Emmy awards.  After 12 years, and one week into his 13th season, he will be leaving the show to be in charge of all college sports at ESPN.  They showed a tribute to Lee, and it is a shame that we will be missing him going forward, but we wish him all of the luck in the world.

David Pollack wore a grill as payoff from a bet with Houston coach Tom Herman from last season.  He looks… special.

Olympic gold medalist Aly Raisman showed up on College Gameday for some reason.  I assumed there would be some kind of tie-in to LSU, Wisconsin, Green Bay, or one of the players to explain her presence, but if there was I didn’t see it.  She had little to contribute to the football-centric nature of the show aside from her brother and dad “liking sports”.  Oh well, USA!  USA! USA!

Combined with Aly Raisman’s appearance, we saw the continuation of what will hopefully be a great tradition for years to come.  The second annual David Pollack vertical leap challenge!  This year he succeeded again, but managed to rip his pants.  Truly compelling television.  This needs to be back next year.

A cool segment followed by Tom Rinaldi about unorthodox offseason training which some programs are starting to get into.  Many teams are starting to send their students through EXTREME workouts like military style bootcamps to build toughness and teamwork.  It looked really cool.  I’m allowed to say that sitting here on the couch in my underwear eating a churro.

I’m proud to say we also saw the return of BEATNIK POETRY WITH TOM RINALDI!!! This week he had a spoken word performance entitled “I AM LAMBEAU” about the experiences of the living, breathing nature of Lambeau field.  Or something.

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Tom Rinaldi performing live

Other miscellaneous notes include QB Guru George Whitfield showing up to break down QB footwork film while walking through a crowd with Rece Davis.  I still don’t get this segment.  I mean, I’m sure George is very good at what he does, but why do they need to be walking through the crowd every time?

Gene Wojciechowski had a weird animated piece about Jim Harbaugh’s offseason, which he called his offseason bucket list.  Harbaugh was everywhere: conducting an orchestra, rapping, coaching 1st base for the Detroit Tigers, Disneyland with Jerry Springer, hanging out with Chewbacca, and tweeting nonstop.  Oh yeah he did some recruiting too.

Everyone’s favorite segment #YOUHADONEJOB was back.  I don’t have any video to show you because ESPN hasn’t put this online as far as I’m aware.  So how about a picture of Rich Rodriguez re-enacting a scene from Gladiator.

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The Lambeau Field executive chef showed up with a ridiculous spread of food including bacon wrapped baked potatoes and foot long bratwurst.  Desmond once again let us know he is NOT HAVING THE PORK.  Anyways, we can probably find a use for this picture somewhere down the line.

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At this point, after a very busy show, it was time to get down to business and make some damn picks.  Aaron Rodgers was the special guest this week to make picks with the Gameday crew.  He put on his nicest white undershirt this morning for his TV appearance, and seemed like not only had he just woken up, but that he probably doesn’t watch college football.  To nobody’s surprise, David Pollack, Kirk Herbstreit, and Desmond Howard picked LSU in the day’s big game, while Rodgers picked Wisconsin.  Corso donned an the LSU headgear complete with a cheesehead for fun as he picked the Bayeux Bengals to win in this game.

@GamedayJen picked LSU as well as the show completed, and we had one more pick to get on the record.  This year we are proud to announce we have been joined by @TheGamedayBaby who will be making a weekly pick and spouting off hot sports takes.  The Gameday Baby went with the LSU Tigers as well, making Aaron Rodgers the only person I have on record as picking Wisconsin, in one of the most lopsided picks I’ve ever tracked which ended up being right.  Check back tomorrow night for a full slate of the results to see who won this week, who lost this week, and how your favorite (or most hated) personality did.